When you’re a teenager, your mission is to figure out who you are. I think some of us haven’t quite figured it out yet.

Maybe other twenty-somethings are more developed than I am, but my developmental task lately seems to be to reconcile who I actually am versus who I want to be in relation to my personality, viewpoints, etc; more emphasis on personality.

More specifically, I AM kind of high strung when stressed, easily excitable and (as someone described me recently, and I’ve got to agree), naive. What I WANT to be is somewhat more poised, less prone to leap-before-look and less scatterbrained/more mentally organized. And I should be working on it, but at the same time, dwelling on all this tends to accomplish nothing but make me feel bad about myself and kind of depressed.

Life seems to me to be a series of catch-22s, and the ultimate task is to make sense of it all! I’m sure this is all really mopey and depressing, but that’s what’s currently rattling around in my brain.

-j